hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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