That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
