Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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