i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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