This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
