She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize