Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
