he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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