TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
