so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize