therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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