GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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