she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
