Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
