Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
if i died would you start the facebook group?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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