Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you had me at cake vodka
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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