Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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