You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
