this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
