You're so nebulous sometimes
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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