I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
thus making me awesome and them whores
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize