My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I see more hoeing in ur future
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
