My girlfriend figured out who you are.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
