If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
