Don't you send me to vm
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
