The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
