apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
