So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
