was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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