Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
