You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
