T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
