I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
