I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
