official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just forgot I was standing up.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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