dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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