I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
