Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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