Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i love accidental penises.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
