Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
porn star boner night. come get it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
