He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
