Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
