Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
