Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
