last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
