shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
