Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
