those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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