She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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