Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
