we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize