I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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