if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
