she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
