do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
